I don’t know about you, but I’ve dealt with a lot of rejection over the past few years of college and high school. No, not relationship rejection, but rejection from professional things, such as solos, jobs, and the like. And as I get older, I realize that I’ve begun to not focus so much on the obvious negatives that come with rejection – “I suck, I’m not good enough, They don’t want me” – but rather the good things that come with it. So here are some things that I’ve tried to think about when I am turned down from something; hopefully you can look at these things and try to have this point of view when being faced with rejection.
I’m going to use a personal experience with this post, so if you know me in real life, then you’ll probably know what I’m talking about. Recently I auditioned for a solo in the Bach Magnificat that the College of Saint Rose Masterworks Chorale will be performing on December 9th in the Massry Center. Being a Soprano 1, I decided to audition for the Soprano 1 solo. I auditioned and did the best that I could, and I can say that I was happy with my audition. Despite this, I did not get the solo; I did manage to get the understudy position for the solo, so if the person who did get the solo got sick or something, I would fulfill her position.
(Now I want to preface with the knowledge that the person who did get the solo is absolutely wonderful and is very talented. In my opinion, she has a gorgeous voice, and out of all the people in the world to have beaten me, I’m glad it was her, because she’ll do a great job.)
ANYWAY. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I was crushed beyond belief that I didn’t get the solo, right? Actually, to be completely honest, I was too busy being happy for the people who did get the solos. In the past, I have felt the world crash down around me at the sight of my failure. I used to think so badly about myself and feel as if I was never good enough. But as I get older and experience more of the loving community at Saint Rose, I’ve realized a few things: I am good enough. I am worth it. And just because I didn’t get a solo for something doesn’t mean I’m not talented enough; it just means that I wasn’t what they were looking for. And that’s ok. Instead of thinking about how much I lost, I think about how much I’ve gained: a new experience under my belt, a new challenge that I’ve faced, and yes, another failure. But as I continue to build in my failures, I realize that my successes are that much sweeter.
The best part about auditioning for something at Saint Rose is the fact that everyone auditioning with you is not only talented, but is a great person all around. I’ve started to concentrate on being happy for the person who did end up getting the solo; you never know how they are feeling in their life, and how that solo could make them feel so much better about themselves. That person who beat you may have needed that solo more than you did. I’m proud to be a part of the Saint Rose community because everyone is so supporting and so caring. I have not seen one cut-throat person here, and I hope to never see one during my time at this college. This is why I came to Saint Rose – This is a loving community, where the people genuinely care about you!
Finally, I’d like to leave you with some words that could not be any more true than the words in the dictionary. They’re simple, but you’ll be surprised at how many people don’t believe these words. I’m a very confident person, and feeling this way about myself has made my life so much better. I hope that this can make you feel better too. 🙂
- You. Are. Wonderful. You are not a failure in any way, shape, or form. You may have not gotten that job, or not gotten that solo. But it doesn’t mean you’re the worst in the world, and it doesn’t mean you should feel any less about yourself. Be proud that you tried! It takes a lot of courage to go for what you want, and that’s an accomplishment in it of itself!
- You. Are. Worth It. No matter what anyone may say to you – be it in a break up, or if a “friend” says something bad about you, just know that you are worth it. Never believe in anything less than that. If someone tries to bring you down, remember how wonderful you are. Don’t let them rent space in your head; forgive them for having to try to lower you in order to raise themselves. Just know that you deserve to be treated fairly and with love.
- Believe in Yourself! Even if you fail, believe that you have a chance to succeed! I’ve been a confident person for a while now, and it has definitely made a difference! When I do fail, I have the confidence to say “Well, there’s always next time!” I don’t give up; I keep going. And you owe it to yourself to do the same.
- Love Yourself. You are a beautiful person, inside and out. You deserve to be loved and you deserve to love yourself. How can you accomplish anything good if you don’t? I can proudly say that I do love myself, and I am living a much happier life because of it. Don’t be afraid to tell the world that you love yourself; you’re a pretty great person 🙂